Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
