This girl is more easily done than said...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
