SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
BRING THE BAGELS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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