Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
