what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm really busy with my period
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