drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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