I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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