You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
