Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think weed is turning my hair brown
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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