Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
