And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
