Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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