glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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