Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
