how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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