ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
