And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
