How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
