remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
