goodnight i made you a song goodbye
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
