i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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