I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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