I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
