so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
