You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
