Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
