Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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