Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
