Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
