I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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