K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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