I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
