I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
