If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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