Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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