What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
