His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
