The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
