it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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