i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
