drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
