I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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