..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Buhtt sex?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
