ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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