i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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