So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
