I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you never un-have a 4some
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
