Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
