You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My ass is underappreciated
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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