i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just had sex on a roof
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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