I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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