the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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