Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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