Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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